| 琪琪的小宇宙(QiQi's r...'s profile琪琪的小宇宙PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
琪琪的小宇宙May 16 搞笑1、地理教过，中国产煤最多的地方是辽宁省抚顺，产铁最多是辽宁省鞍山，所以抚顺被称为中国的“煤都”，鞍山称为“铁都”。某次考试，试卷上：中国的煤都是(黑的)，中国的铁都是(硬的)。考完还说：老师怎么出那么简单的题目？ 2、一次语文考试的附加题，问普罗米修斯是什么文学作品里面的人物，一个同学填：哈里-波特。还有一次，问左忠毅公叫什么名字，一个同学写：左冷禅。 3、一次政治时政题：我国的()号考察船去北极考察。我的答案：泰坦尼克号。 4、语文考试。解释“逝世”一词。我答：“去死”(本来想写“死去”)老师大怒…… 5、小学，一同学背诗，前面3句背得那么费劲。最后一句：“一行白鹭上西天。”全班晕！ 6、高一语文摸底考试，“何当共剪西窗烛”，填下句。我答：“夫妻对坐到天明”。正确答案：“却话巴山夜雨时”。 7、一次语文考试，诗句填空是白居易的《题大林寺桃花》中的一句“()，不知转入此中来”，正解应是“常恨春归无觅处”，我前排一个同学愣是填了“常恨村姑无觅处”。 8、生物考试一填图题，问一个细胞图是什么生物的，正解是“母果蝇”，我班一人答：“女果蝇”。生物组老师开会研究N久，决定给0分。 9、高中时候也是填诗词下句。上句是：“洛阳亲友如相问”；我一个同学填：“就说我在岳阳楼”。 10、高中一次语文考试，也是填下一句：“蚍蜉撼大树，()”。我有一同学填：一动也不动。很符合事实。 11、高中时，生物考试，问：鸡的消化类型是什么型？我不会，答：鸡型！结果老师在全班点名批评！ 12、上句是：“西塞山前白鹭飞”，同学憋半天憋不出，于是瞎写：“东村河边黑龟爬”！ 13、高中语文考试，写古诗下句。上句是：“待到山花烂漫时”，我们班一人居然填了：我便奋力把花采。 14、初中时考语文，题目问老舍先生的著名作品的名字。一同学想不起，我告诉他：茶馆。结果那位听成：茶壶盖。被老师痛骂！ 15、以前同学读课文，其中有一句：拿出芭蕉扇扇扇。本来停顿应该是拿出芭蕉扇，扇扇。那同学直接读成：拿出芭蕉，扇扇扇！ 16、初中的时候一次上课把窦娥冤的窦读成“卖”娥冤。全班爆笑我还不知道为什么！ 17、还有一次是数学考试，最后一道大题是两个解法判断哪个正确。我想了半天没想出来，顺便提了几个词：公说公有理！婆说婆有理！看看都没理！想想全有理……结果数学老师把我的解法整个年级她教的四个班都读一遍以后，我就闻名了！ 18、高中语文课正上毛泽东的《咏梅》，早自习要求背诵。老师点人回答：“——她在丛中笑下面，XX回答！”XX正在吃东西，半天说不出话来，憋出一句“笑也不出声！”全班爆笑！ 20、考试写：“天生我才必有用”的下句。有位天才学生答：“老鼠儿子会打洞”。我们整办公室的语文老师集体毫无形象的狂笑！ 21、英语考试：HOW ARE YOU？这么翻译？答案——怎么是你？HOW OLD AREYOU？怎么翻译？答案——怎么老是你？ 22、试题：如果一位中国学生在美国加州目睹了一起交通事故，警察来了以后问你知不知道事情的经过，应该怎么对他说？一个人回答：one car come,one car go，two car pengpeng，one car die。 23、A君在做语文试卷时，被一道填空题“《这里的黎明静悄悄》的作者是谁”难住。苦思良久，A君毅然在空栏上写着“霍利菲尔德”。 一旁的监考老师笑问：“怎么不写泰森呢？” A君道：“他的名字太短了，不像！” 24、B君在作文中要描述一个人的外貌，遇一字不会，遂悄声问同桌：“一副眼镜的‘副’字怎么写？” 同桌告诉他：“就是一副跳棋的‘副’嘛。” 后老师批阅B君的作文，见上面写道：“他高高的鼻梁上架着一副跳棋。” December 13 Love and TimeOnce upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!" Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her. Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."
December 12 Ten Rules in Life1. You will receive a body.
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around. 2. You will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid. 3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works". 4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson. 5. Learning lessons does not end.
There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned. 6. "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here". 7. Others are merely mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. 8. What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. 9. Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust. 10. You will forget all this.
October 09 Face the sea, with spring flowers blossoming.从明天起，做一个幸福的人 From tomorrow on, I will be a happy person; 喂马，劈柴，周游世界 Grooming, chopping, and traveling all over the world. 从明天起，关心粮食和蔬菜 From tomorrow on, I will care foodstuff and vegetables, 我有一所房子，面朝大海，春暖花开 I have a house,towards the sea, with spring flowers blossoming. 从明天起，和每一个亲人通信 From tomorrow on, I will write to each of my dear ones, 告诉他们我的幸福 Telling them of my happiness, 那幸福的闪电告诉我的 What the lightening of blessedness has told me, 我将告诉每一个人 I will spread it to each of them. 给每一条河每一座山取一个温暖的名字 And give a warm name for every river and every mountain. 陌生人，我也为你祝福 Strangers, I will also give you my well-wishing. 愿你有一个灿烂的前程 May you have a brilliant future! 愿你有情人终成眷属 May you lovers eventually become spouse! 愿你在尘世获得幸福 May you enjoy happiness in this earthly world! 我也愿面朝大海，春暖花开 I only wish to face the sea, with spring flowers blossoming A grain of sand.一粒沙子 William Blake/威廉.布莱克 To see a world in a grain of sand, 从一粒沙子看到一个世界， And a heaven in a wild fllower, 从一朵野花看到一个天堂， Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, 把握在你手心里的就是无限， And eternity in an hour. 永恒也就消融于一个时辰。 Did you know...Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are really weak and most susceptible? Did you know that those who spent their time protecting others are the ones who really need someone to protect them? Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are: I love you, Sorry and Help me？ Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves? Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty? Did you know that those who dress in black,are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding? Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds? Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face? Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted? Did you know that you can make you dreams come true,like falling in love,becoming rich,staying healthy, if you ask for it in faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do? But don't believe everything I tell you until you try it for yourself. life“人生不过是一场幻梦！” "Life is but an empty dream!" 灵魂睡着了，就等于死了， For the soul is dead that slumbers, 事物的真相与外表不同。 And things are not what they seem. 人生是真切的！人生是实在的！ Life is real! Life is earnest! 它的归宿决不是荒坟； And the grave is not its goal; “你本是尘土，必归于尘土”， "Dust thou art, to dust returnest," 这是指躯壳，不是指灵魂。 Was not spoken of the soul. 我们命定的目标和道路 Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, 不是享乐，也不是受苦； Is our destined end or way; 而是行动，在每个明天 But to act, that each to-morrow 都超越今天，跨出新步。 Find us farther than to-day. 智艺无穷，时光飞逝； Art is long, and Time is fleeting, 这颗心，纵然勇敢坚强， And our hearts, though stout and brave, 也只如鼙鼓，闷声敲动着， Still, like muffled drums, are beating 一下又一下，向坟地送丧。 Funeral marches to the grave. 世界是一片辽阔的战场， In the world's broad field of battle, 人生是到处扎寨安营； In the bivouac of life, 莫学那听人驱策的哑畜， Be not like dumb, driven cattle! 做一个威武善战的英雄！ Be a hero in the strife! 别指望将来，不管它多可爱！ Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant! 把已逝的过去永久掩埋！ Let the dead Past bury its dead! 行动吧－－趁着活生生的现在！ Act, -- act in the living Present! 心中有赤心，头上有真宰！ Heart within, and God o'evhead! 伟人的生平启示我们： Lives of great men all remind us 我们能够生活得高尚， We can make our lives sublime, 而当告别人世的时候， And, departing, leave behind us 留下脚印在时间的沙上； Footprints on the sand of time; 也许我们有一个兄弟 Footprints, that perhaps another, 航行在庄严的人生大海， Sailing o'er life's solemn main, 遇险沉了船，绝望的时刻，A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, 会看到这脚印而振作起来。 Seeing, shall take heart again. 那么，让我们起来干吧， Let us, then, be up and doing, 对任何命运要敢于担戴； With a heart for any fate; 不断地进取，不断地追求， Still achieving, still pursuing, 要善于劳动，善于等待。 Learn to labor and to wait |
|
|||||
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts
|
|
